3 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids


One of my favorite sessions of the Orange Conference was listening to Kara Powell talk about the research that the Fuller Youth Institute has done on Sticky Faith (now a book).

Did you know that 40-50% of kids will not stick with their faith after graduation?  The church spends about 40 hours a year with your child, a great camp like SpringHill gets 40-70, and you get 3,000 hours a year!  One of the most striking findings was that it’s not enough for parents to ask their kids things like, “what did you learn today at church?” or model the way by reading their own bibles. So, what’s a parent to do? The parents that actively talked about their own faith raised kids that were more likely to stick with it.

How about three questions?  I’ve been asking the first question at every meal I have with kids and it’s a blast.  The goal is to ask (and answer) these questions at every family dinner.  If family dinner doesn’t happen for you, what about having this conversation each night before they fall asleep?

1.  What was your high today?  What was your low today?

  • Start on a level playing field-let it be about anything-no rules!  You can celebrate with each other and have a deeper understanding about what might have gone wrong in the life of your spouse or child.

2. How did you see God at work today?

  • Open up the wonders of the day.  Allow the God-moments to shine through.

3. What mistakes did you make today?

  • It is crucial that our kids see that we make mistakes and need forgiveness.  When we don’t admit our failures to our kids, they grow up thinking that following Christ is an unattainable–a list of rules that can’t be met as they get older.  It’s also important that we have a safe place for them to admit failure and be loved unconditionally.

One thought on “3 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids

  1. Love these. We are talkers at our house, so I will try to remember these questions…might be a year or so before he understands what I’m asking, but you know. Never too early to start trying!

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