Luke just turned 7 months old. I love being his mom. He’s a super easy baby, bright-eyed and observant, loves people and has a joyful spirit. I’ve taken at least 1,000 iphone photos and started at least 6 blog posts with him as the subject. I’ve also started serious posts- about life, ministry in the city, relationships, and what God is teaching me through all of it. I just haven’t been able to finish any of the posts.
Call it baby brain x 2. I swear, baby brain is a real thing. I love babies, but growing them and raising them sure makes my brain fuzzy. I used to think that some moms became uninteresting after having kids. Now I realize that they still probably have very interesting thoughts, they’re just too tired and interrupted to get them out.
But now it’s time to come out of the blogging hiatus and tell you a story.
Our story starts a year and a half ago as newlyweds (can you believe we’ve only been married a year and a half)?! I still vividly remember our conversation as we sat pulling up staples on the floors of this huge new house we bought. We were dreaming about what all the staple-free square footage would be used for and Josh said, “Well, let’s start filling it with kids.” So we started praying. I think we were both thinking more along the lines of adoption and foster care, but I got pregnant with Luke that week. And a few months later, baby Makayla and her mom moved in (read about that here). Yes. Babies!
When our little buddy was born, we knew definitively (we had always suspected) that parenting suited us well. In fact, when Luke was in the special care nursery after birth, some of his roommates were born drug-addicted and being placed in foster homes. We wanted to take them home, too, so our adoption/foster care conversation actually re-started before we even brought Luke home. When Luke was just three months old, we attended an adoption meeting. We found out that he wasn’t old enough for us to adopt according to agency rules, so we went to the foster care meeting. Foster care seemed to really fit our hearts for being a place of love for kids that really need it, so we prayerfully headed in that direction.
Remember that baby brain thing, though? I just kind of kept forgetting to fill out the paperwork. It wasn’t intentional, and I would think about it every night when we went to bed- along with a long list of the other things I forgot to do that day.
And then I woke up one morning and felt awful. When I found out I was pregnant I think I stopped breathing for a second. It’s hard to describe the emotion of being so excited and yet so overwhelmed at the same time. Josh was working a 12-hour shift so I had time to prepare an announcement (thanks, Sharpie) for his arrival home.
So, here we are on our way to filling this house up with kids. God keeps doing it in ways that we don’t expect, but we are incredibly grateful. We love the idea of having two babies in thirteen months and hope that Luke and his sibling will be best buddies forever.
Part of me is sad that we’re not entering the world of foster/adoptive parents yet (pregnancy is really hard for me, otherwise we would totally consider it). Part of me feels like it’s so unfair that I keep getting pregnant when others around me are struggling with infertility (praying so hard for those of you that desire a baby- whether you’ve shared your journey or can’t speak of it yet). But one thing I’ve learned over the years is that God is always at work. He’s up to something. In our house, in our family, in our city. Mostly, He’s up to something in our hearts. So, here we are, thanking the Giver of all good things and leaning in to listen.
You may notice that we got Luke to smile in the above picture. It’s the only one we have like that because we put his squeaky giraffe inside the book. He loves books, but the truth is that he could care less about this one. We’ll keep working on that.